John Hollywood writes about pop culture with a psychological twist; his articles are practical in nature with a "how-to" approach. You are getting ready to meet that handsome guy you met online or through a close friend for that all-important first date. What should I wear? Does my breath smell? Is my muffin-top showing? Seriously — going on a first date can be a bit of a challenge.

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Permission is granted to copy or reproduce this article either in full or in part, without prior written authorization of the author on the sole condition that the author is credited and notified of reproduction, and that the publisher's copyright, and place of publication appear. Even though gay men experienced the death of partners before the onset of HIV disease, and the AIDS epidemic has brought increased attention to the plight of gay male widowers, there is very little research on the specifics of how gay widowers mourn and what is required for them to adjust to their bereaved state in an adaptive way. Objective: To describe the psychosocial issues relevant to gay widowers, and how social support is central for them to resolve their grief in a functional way, and to offer some comparisons between heterosexual and gay widowers, thus assisting health care professionals in best serving this population and illuminating areas for further research. Design: The findings are primarily from empirical clinical practice with support from the literature. Results: The lack of recognition for male couples in general and for the status of a gay man as a widower in particular, complicates the grieving process.




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